When grownups need to learn about manners…

By curiousillusion ( August 26, 2009 at 6:58 pm) · Filed under work,

Ugh.  I have to admit, this year is off to a rough start.  I’m not even talking about the kids this time… it’s my co-workers that are getting on my last nerve.

I have worked as a teacher for 4 years, and I’ve had a different team of teachers each year.  Not every team is perfect, usually there was always one co-worker that didn’t get along… but it was fine.  Last year I had the best team and I loved them all – we actually would sometimes get together outside of work (as in, when we all went to see Wicked together).

This year, however…  this year it is different.  I noticed it the first day I started work and while I have hoped it was getting better, it really is not.  The problem is two-fold: first, it seems my co-workers have formed a clique (my suspicions were confirmed today by someone else) and are reluctant to let me in, and second, they’re rude.

I know that this is my first year at this school, so I’m kind of at the bottom of the totem pole… but it seems like these people really want to treat me as such.  They pretty much cleaned out my classroom of supplies and furniture so I was left with the bare minimum, while they have doubles of things.  Any effort that I’ve made to get what clearly belongs to my room is rudely ignored or dismissed.  Plus, they don’t have manners.  I understand that sometimes people will interrupt others when they are speaking, I do it on occasion.  However, these teachers *constantly* talk over me when I’m talking.  Not just once in a while, but pretty much always.  To the point where they obviously don’t respect what I’m saying and make me feel like I shouldn’t even be talking.  Didn’t they learn manners?  Heck, one of the rules that is usually standard in the classroom is “when someone is speaking, do not speak.”   Maybe they need to go back to kindergarten.

The clique thing is annoying too… I’ve never had that happen before.  Usually I’ve been in grade level teams where the others were welcoming, inviting… I know that I’ve always made it a point to welcome and help out any new teacher that I’ve come across.   You’d think good karma would kick in for me.  But no, these teachers stick to themselves, get along with each other and I’m still just the new kid that no one wants to sit near.  I don’t know that I’ve ever been that.

Yes, I’m speaking of something specific that happened today, which essentially brought me to tears because I was just in shock at how heartless this one teacher was.  No, I’m not going into detail because it’s not worth the time.  Suffice it to say, this all made for an exhausting day and I hate that I’m dealing with this.  I’ve been told to not worry, that things will get better… but 2 weeks in and it’s still like this?  What if this is as good as it gets?

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  • Quave
    That's a real bummer. Why do people have to be like that? Surely there's other teachers with whom you can relate? Ignore the painful ones, you don't need them in your life (sort of). You know if they there's a history with the person that used to be in your room? I'm pretty sure it'll get better. Hang in there.
  • I hate that you are going through this. It's very true that some times adults do need to be taught manners. It's sad and pathetic but what can you do?

    As you know from some of my blog posts I have a lot of problems with my co-workers. I've come up with a few ideas on why they are complete bitches towards me.

    1. I am younger than them and obviously better at my job then they are.

    2. They are threatened by me and my position within the company (higher up than their current position).

    3. They hate that our boss depends on me so much.

    These may not be the reasons that your co-workers aren't being friendly but maybe they think not only are you a newbie at your place of employement but in the career as well? Maybe they feel like they don't want to waste their time?

    If your co-workers are women I can almost guarantee you it is because they are just catty bitches. I know its mean to say but I find it soooo true.

    I'm not going to tell you to hang in there that it will get better, I'm going to tell you to stand your ground. Demand, don't ask, for things that belong in your classroom. When you walk don't walk with your head down but instead command respect. If they cut you off when you are talking without saying "Excuse me" or "I hate to interrupt" you can butt back in by saying, "As I was saying before I was rudely cut off".

    Stand your ground Ari. Don't let people walk all over you. They see your sweet pretty face and will play you for a fool. Show them you are pretty, smart, and in control.
  • That's really depressing. Hopefully you can find at least one person willing to accept you. (Some times that's all it takes.) It's really silly that anyone would have to resort to such things at this point in life but some people never grow up... I hope that things get better fast.
  • justtheashes
    My gosh, that sounds awful. :(
  • Awww :( That does not sound like fun at all. My dept is almost exactly like you described. This is my 3rd year and I still don't have any "friends" at work. The one other teacher I was really close to was let go due to budget cuts and she ended up moving an hour and half away to find a job. The rest of the dept is divided into like 5 cliques that apparently are not looking for anyone new.
    I agree with what others have said, just stick to yourself. It gets lonley sometimes, ok a lot, but at the end of the day your kids love you and you are a great teacher so why stress about the rest?
    Hang in there!
  • oh wow... I had no idea it was still so bad! I'm sorry they aren't being more inclusive, I really do hope that it's just temporary though! I worked in a school that was similar--it took me a lonnnnnng time to break into the "group"... it helped by trying hard to befriend one person, then the rest opened up and it ended up being my favourite staff to work with.

    I hope things get better... keep your chin up! You're a fabulous teacher and they'll realize it soon. :)
  • Wow, that's rough... and also a bit unusual. I live in a new neighborhood that happens to have *a lot* of current or retired teachers. I doubt there's a neighborhood anywhere else that has such a high concentration of teachers, lol! But it's interesting because there's such solidarity between them all and they all have similar mindsets. I'm really sorry to hear that your school isn't like that. You're the last person who deserves to be in that kind of work environment! I'm sorry I can't give advice other than to just keep being you and hope that they come to their senses and see what they're missing. ):
  • TotallyHeather
    Wow Ari. That's horrible. Are these teachers younger or older? Not that it makes a difference because adults should act like adults, not high schoolers on a power kick.

    Maybe they're all jealous because you're prettier, skinnier and have an awesome blog that would school anything they even attempted to do. That's my guess.
  • That is frustrating. And I don't really know how you should deal with that. Just hope it gets better! I wonder if there's anyone you could talk to about the supplies at least.
  • My last school, there were so many cliques it was awful. So what I did was stick to myself and do my own thing. It worked for me because when they needed something from me, they literally groveled at my feet. Granted I was the director of techonology, but still. Be different! Be bold! And most of all, be yourself & happy. Don't let them dictate how your school year will be, let yourself decide.
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