curiousillusion

Last day of NaBloPoMo. I have to admit, it was a struggle at times. There were days when I just had nothing to say, I didn’t want to blog at all… but I pushed forth. And I think it was totally worth it – I think it got me back into the swing of blogging again (I had fallen out of it when school started up) and I met some great people through it. But I’m happy it’s over, and I can go back to not posting if I want starting tomorrow. :)

Meanwhile, I’ve been totally in the mood to take pictures lately. Maybe it’s because of that mystery thing I was cryptically fretting about the other day… actually, I *know* it is in anticipation of it. Oh and, *knocking on wood*, I got a phone call confirming my order and saying that it should get shipped within the next day or two. When I have a tracking number I’ll breathe a bit easier. [Edited to add: a few hours after posting this I got an email saying it shipped! Eeek!] Actually, I don’t think I’ll be really okay until I have it and know it’s okay – I get nervous about buying big purchases online. I’m always worried about getting scammed.

Anyway, I took quite a few pictures today so I thought I’d share one that I’m proud of. I was told to save the rest for tomorrow, so you can consider this a sneak peek…

It’s called “20 minutes…” Only because that’s how long it took for my computer to do the very little that needed to be done on this picture (seriously, 2 minutes to tweak the colors a touch took 20 minutes). It was frustrating and I nearly threw my laptop against the wall, I was so mad. So, as a result, I created a “new computer fund”. I am in desperate need of a new computer and am not above taking donations for it, it’ll take me ages to be able to afford it on my own. So if you feel so inclined and would like to donate an amount, any amount.. I’d appreciate it – click to donate. You would be my saving grace, my knight in shining armor, my… well you get the point. :)

On that note, I’m off to fight the computer to process a few more of the pictures I took today.

Day 30/30 of NaBloPoMo… completed!!

*Title from the song “4 Minutes” by Madonna (& Justin Timberlake, duh).

Family Christmas tradition #1: create a wish list of things you want for Christmas.  In the past it used to get posted on the fridge, now it gets emailed.  Why?  Because then you have a decent chance of actually getting something you want and will use for Christmas.  It’s a tradition I’m all for – my father especially is notoriously impossible to shop for.  However, he also seems to put the most expensive things on his list, which makes it hard.  Oh and plus distributing lists saves us from the “oh just get me anything” list that my mom tends to thinks is acceptable.

So, because I think a Christmas wish list tells a lot about a person and what their state of mind is, here’s my Christmas list.  Complete with pics because I’m just that fabulous:

Wicked Stitch Designs Maia Waterproof Camera Bag.  These bags are totally customizable so I was very specific as to what colors I want.  Which will remain a surprise until (hopefully) I get it. My parents have to order by the end of this week in order to get here in time – I have a feeling they won’t though.

Tiffany & Co. Butterfly Charm

Tiffany & Co. Four Leaf Clover tag Charm

Tiffany & Co. Return to Tiffany Heart tag Charm (because it wouldn’t be a Tiffany’s bracelet without a blatant Tiffany’s charm, lol)

Tiffany & Co. Snowflake Charm

[Can you tell I REALLY want at least one or two charms for my charm bracelet?!  I'm a bit iffy about the snowflake because while I LOVE it, I'm sure it's not meant to be worn year round and that would be a shame.  Sigh, if I could get my camera bag and a charm, I think I would be happy, I wouldn't need anything else!]

Learning to See Creatively by Bryan Peterson

The Proposal on DVD (yes I thought this movie was cute… plus Ryan Reynolds is lovely!)

How I Met Your Mother Season 4 DVD

Plus gift cards to Starbucks & Ann Taylor Loft.  Starbucks because, well, it’s freaking Starbucks… you know how much I love them.  And clothing gift cards always come in handy, as impersonal as I’ve always said they are.

So that’s my list.  It’s not too bad, is it?   As I said, all I *really* want is the camera bag and a charm for my bracelet.  Oh and I’ve had that book on my wish list for AGES so that would be awesome too.  But that’s really about it. I really just want… well, what I posted about yesterday.  *crosses fingers some more*

Day 29/30 of NaBloPoMo – wrapped up in a bow!

Big day today.  Huge.  In fact, I’m a little over the moon about it – half excited and half “omg did I really just do that?!”  If you follow me on twitter, you already know what happened.  However… I don’t want to talk about it on the blog just yet.  I’m worried that doing so may jinx it… in fact, I’m worried that tweeting about it may have jinxed it.

When I was in high school, my parents told me they were going to get me a car.  Obviously this was a big deal and I was super excited.  I was told the details about the car and so the next day I went to school and excitedly told my friends what kind of car I was going to get – silver with a CD changer, I can’t remember what else it had but it was going to be nice.  Then when I got home from school, my parents told me they decided not to go with that car anymore.  What a letdown, to go to school the next day and say that no, I didn’t have a car yet and I didn’t know what kind of car I *was* going to get.  Of course I did eventually get a car and while it wasn’t as fantastic as the car I thought I was going to get, it was a great little car and I loved it.  But still.  The memory stuck with me.

So ever since then, I’ve been reluctant to get excited about big things – I get paranoid and superstitious instead.   Is anyone else like that?   Early this year, in March, I went to Australia and I knew about it pretty early into the year, but I refused to write it down in my planner until it was a week or two away – I felt that if I wrote it down, it could be changed.  Same with my trip to Oregon in August – it was a big deal for me and I was so excited about it that I worried it wouldn’t happen.

Therefore… I’m going to wait a bit before discussing my big news.  I want to wait for a confirmation email or a shipping number or something.   But in the meantime, you can be excited for me.  And nervous with me.  And maybe cross your fingers or something while we wait?  I have a feeling this is going to be a long wait…

Day 28/30 of NaBloPoMo… holding thumbs!

[As always, my movie reviews are *spoiler free*.]

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a movie review… I haven’t been out to see anything good lately, unfortunately.  However, my brother came into town and had been wanting to watch New Moon so I said I’d go see it with him.  I wasn’t a fan of the Twilight movie so I figured I’d only go if I wasn’t paying.

Now, I read all the books but I never was a die hard fan like so many people out there are – I’ve always thought that the writing was pretty childish and the character Bella kind of annoyed me.  I read each book exactly once and I hadn’t read New Moon in over a year so I couldn’t remember what happened in the book – therefore, I will not be comparing the book to the movie.  As for the movie Twilight, I really did not like it.  Part of that I blame on the fact that I watched it at home and didn’t watch it continuously – I paused it repeatedly to do things around the house instead of sitting in a theater and watching it all the way through.  Oh and while I watched it, I was multitasking – I barely remember what happened in it.  But most of all, I thought the movie took the worst parts of the book and put them together – most of the movie ended up being of Bella pining away for a vampire and you didn’t really get to see WHY she was so interested in him, in my opinion.   The whole relationship felt forced to me.  (And I’m not a fan of Kristen Stewart but that’s another story.)

So, I didn’t have high standards for New Moon. However, I had heard from MANY people that this movie was better than the first, so I was curious to see it.  And, like I said, if my brother is paying – why not?

I will agree that this movie is better than the first.  Surprisingly, my brother liked Twilight better – but he says it was because he preferred seeing Edward (the vampire) and Edward doesn’t play as large of a role in this movie, Jacob does instead (who my brother is not a fan of).  I’m not a huge fan of either (don’t ask me which team I’m on because I wouldn’t pick) so that didn’t play a role in my preferring this film.  I think I just liked it because there was more to it than just watching Bella pining away for Edward.  Kind of.

I mean, there was a lot of pining, trust me.  And that’s what gets me, and it got to me during the books – she’s so dramatic.  I don’t remember ever being THAT dramatic over a guy, and I’ve had my moments, believe me.  But whatever.

I will say that you probably want to read the books before the movie.  And you’ll definitely need to see the first Twilight movie before seeing this one.  Having forgot what happened in the books and the first movie, I found myself asking my brother a lot of questions.  Plus I think the book explains things better, but don’t books always?

I’m having a hard time reviewing this movie without discussing what actually happens in the books and movies.  Really hard.  So, to sum it up… I thought it was worth the money.  I *might* even watch it again.  Maybe.  I think the special effects were pretty good so it might be worth it to see the movie for that alone.  Now, if you’re a huge fan of the books and especially if you’re Team Jacob, I’m sure you love this movie and in fact, have already seen it at least once by now.  If you’re like me – have read the books but not a die hard fan, I think you might like this movie too.  It’s worth at least one viewing, I would say.

Oh yeah and the ring that Bella wears during the movie – it would make a nice Christmas present for me.  That’s all I’m saying.  I couldn’t stop staring at it. :)

Day 27/30 of NaBloPoMo… reviewed!

Freaking 11:15pm on day 26/30 of NaBloPoMo and I was thisclose to not posting today.  Not on purpose and not because I forgot, but because I was stuck at a Thanksgiving event and was waiting for it to be time to LEAVE!  Luckily I made it home with 45 minutes to spare.

So… to go along with what every other blog in the states must be doing… here is my list of what I am thankful for:

• vacation days from work… I am always thankful for that!
• for yummy Thanksgiving dinners (although sadly missing one of my favorite parts: sweet potato pie, complete with marshmallows).
• that it is finally time to start listening to Christmas music (I loaded up the iPhone earlier today in anticipation).
• for my cuddly snuggly kitty (well snuggly when she wants to be).
• for chilly, not cold, weather… and the scarves, coats and hats that go with it.
• for all of you, my wonderful friends that leave me sweet comments here.

Hope everyone had a fantastic day!

*title of the post is the title of a book I read to my students. Lol.

Day 26/30 of NaBloPoMo… posted in the nick of time!

Sometimes I wonder about myself.  Okay, maybe it’s not just sometimes, it’s always.   It’s just that… I’m 27, going on 28. But I feel like I haven’t accomplished all that I should have accomplished by now.  Or, rather than that – I feel that I’m not acting my age enough – that I still feel like I’m living like a college kid or something.

I mean, let’s put it this way.  I know plenty of people that are my age that are married and have kids.  And while I do want that at some point (definitely, no question), it just feels so far out of my reach right now. It feels like I’m so far away from getting there.  I’m ages away from people like that.  Instead I’m 27 and living with my parents.  And yes, living with my parents is only temporary, and it was made as a good decision to pay down debt for a year… but still.  27 and living with my parents?  Really?

I don’t know, I guess I just get jealous.  I WANT what those other people have.  A husband to come home to, kids to raise.   But on the other hand, I can hardly wrap my head around it – I feel like I’m not mature enough to raise a child just yet. I like my sleep – I need 8 hours or I become cranky teacher at work – and people with babies don’t get 8 hours of sleep.  People with children need to cook and clean and I don’t do either of those things well or on a regular basis.  I look at these people in awe (yes, Beth, you’re one of them) because I don’t know how I’d handle myself in their shoes. I don’t think I *could* handle myself.

I don’t know.  Maybe I should leave my lazy college days behind me once and for all – quit lounging around watching TV so much and… do something?  Or maybe I should just embrace these days as my last chance at freedom, before I finally do meet that guy that gets me to settle down.  Or maybe I should just quit thinking about it all – surely the husband and kids thing will happen when it’s meant to be.  Maybe right now I DO need to be living it up while I still can.  Who wants to get margaritas with me?! :)

Edited to add: Yes, I am aware – I’m overthinking things.  That’s what I do on the blog, I overthink. Because let’s face it, if I weren’t overthinking things, I wouldn’t have anything to blog about.   Don’t like it?  Don’t read it.

Day 25/30 of NaBloPoMo… thinking too much.

That’s what popped into my head at 3:45pm today, when my co-worker and I made our way into the parking lot, saying goodbye to work til Monday.  Considering that last night we both worked extra late (I was there til close to 6pm, she was there even later), as soon as our principal emailed the staff to say that everyone could clock out at 3:30 for the holidays, we scrambled to get out as fast as we could!

Meanwhile today was one of those days where I was multitasking and it was making me crazy.  But it paid off because I didn’t have to stay late to decorate my room – I was able to get it done with the help of a parent volunteer that hangs out with me while the kids were in Music.  Unfortunately… my room does not look as festive as I want it to be.  The problem may be that my room is so big that I need a lot more decorations than I have.  The other problem may be that I’m not sure that all my students celebrate Christmas and I don’t want to offend anyone, so I’m cautious about what I’m putting up in my room.   Although I really just want to go crazy – I have visions of silver tinsel laying across the tops of the cubbies.  Wouldn’t that be pretty?  Or is that going overboard?

Anyway, now I’m just kicking back and enjoying being officially on Thanksgiving break.  5 days of absolute nothingness lie ahead of me.  And luckily I can still use the “I’m sick” excuse to get my parents off my case and allow me to sleep in, etc.  Although technically, if you were wondering, I’m doing much better – no fever since Sunday and a nasty dose of Theraflu last night kicked all my congestion out of my system, which rocks.  I just need to lose this cough, especially because it hurts when I *do* cough, and it’s start to affect my voice – I’ve working the slightly sexy, raspy voice right now.  You know you love it.

And on that note… I’m going back to doing absolutely nothing.  Ahhhhh.

Day 24/30 of NaBloPoMo… doing the happy dance!

One night, back when I was in high school, I kept having the same nightmare over and over again – I dreamed that I was being rear ended while on my way to school.  I can’t remember how many times I woke up that night, my foot frantically trying to push on a brake pedal. And, of course, that very next day I was rear ended on the way to school.

Now, other than a few deja vu instances, I don’t know that I’ve ever had a premonition actually come true again.  However, I believe that if something is nagging at my heart, if I can’t get something out of my head – I need to do something about it.

My identity on the internet, and more specifically, as a blogger has been on my mind a lot lately.  On one hand, I’ve always wished that I could be like so many out there – that identify themselves by their first and last names, are not afraid to post pictures of themselves, and so on.  You know without a doubt who they are, and that seems to be so freeing.  Unfortunately, I have never been so inclined.

Perhaps it is my father, who (whenever he hears mention of twitter or facebook or anything similar on the news) adamantly insists that there is no reason for anyone to put ANYTHING up of themselves online. Maybe it is an ex of mine that I want to get away from, since for a while he was keeping tabs on me and I don’t feel that my life is his business anymore.  Or it could be the horror stories I’ve heard, of people being fired for pictures they’ve posted, blogs they’ve written, etc.  Either way, I’ve always tried to be a bit cautious of what I put up there.

Anyway, to be more specific: I’ve been worried about having pictures of me out there.  My concern is: if you can identify me by my picture, and see that my username is curiousillusion, it doesn’t take a genius to work out the url of my blog.  Right?  So I was thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have pictures of me up on flickr.  I was debating on taking them down or something.

And then today someone recognized me.  And it utterly freaked me out. This is the exact issue that’s been weighing on my mind, come to light.  Now in this case, the person that recognized me isn’t a big deal (kinda).  But that’s this time.  What about next time?  And… do I really want it to happen next time?  If I keep thinking about it, and thinking about it, do I really need to get rear ended before I realize what I need to do?

So… I’m hiding all the pictures of myself, anywhere I can think of.  Well, I guess I should say “making private” on flickr – some of the pics are available to be seen if I have you as a friend or family. I just don’t want random people seeing my pretty little face right now. :)  My facebook page is private, so that’s not a worry there.  I deleted pics from my twitter twicpic, which weren’t that many.  I know it might seem like a drastic move, but it’s just not a risk I want to play with anymore.  Who knows, maybe I’ll think different eventually, but for right now, I’d rather be safe than sorry.

Day 23/30 of NaBloPoMo… hidden.

Thanks for the love guys.  Feeling a bit better, although not 100% yet… I’m hoping a good night’s sleep will take care of that.  Only 2 days til Thanksgiving break!! I can survive the next 2 days, surely!

Anyway, I think it’s been a while since Bay has made an appearance here (and if it hasn’t been a while, too bad), so here she is…

Day 22/30 of NaBloPoMo… cute as a button.

6pm on a Saturday and I’m just now turning on the computer. I haven’t been thinking about what to blog about, mainly because I’m under the weather. Not really sick or anything – just a headache that won’t go away, sore throat and a bit of the sniffles. In fact, I’m wondering if the weather is literally to blame, and maybe this is just allergies or something – a cold front did blow through yesterday.

Anyway, I’m so utterly pathetic when I don’t feel good – I revert back to being a child, all whiny and pathetic. Staying in bed, with the sheets pulled all the way up, and having someone take care of me is what I figure I deserve. Unfortunately, I quit getting that ages ago so now I just complain to anyone that will listen. It’s rather, charming, I’m sure.

So. My feeling sick, combined with my cat using my arm as a pillow (meaning I’ve typed all this with one hand because my cat is spoiled and too cute to move) means I’m phoning in the blog today. Maybe tomorrow will be better. In the meantime, feel free to leave get well messages in the comments!

Edited to add: turns out it’s not just me. After posting the blog, I got really cold. Tried to sleep it off, then mom said I looked pale and had a fever. Took some Advil and am now catching up on FlashForward while drinking hot lemon tea. Hopefully I’ll be better tomorrow – work on Monday will be miserable if I’m sick.

Day 21/30 of NaBloPoMo… under the weather.