Silenced by my own blog.

By curiousillusion ( November 19, 2009 at 8:06 pm) · Filed under blog, ,

So.  I wanted to blog about something that has been bothering me, something that has been quite the issue in my life recently.  But I recently found out that, to my surprise, one of the persons involved in the saga reads the blog.  So I guess I can’t blog about it.

That kind of sucks, you know?  Sometimes I feel confused on being a blogger, what kind of blog I want this to be and who I want reading it.  I mean, on one hand I’m very “the more, the merrier”, everyone come read my blog and fan it on facebook.  And then on the other hand I worry about people I know reading the blog, because a lot of what I write can be pretty personal and not for the eyes of everyone.

And then there’s situations like these, where I can’t even vent for fear that I’ll upset someone.

I don’t know.  In the end, this will probably blow over within the next week or two (or month or two) and quite possibly months from now I won’t even remember it.  It’ll be a mere blip in the lifespan of this blog, and my life, for that matter.   It’s not a big deal.  I think I just feel lost because I CAN’T blog about it.  Most of the time, blogging feels so liberating but now I feel restricted by my blog or something.  Censored.

Fellow bloggers: have you come across this type of scenario before?  Or have you just gone ahead and blogged about something that you know will cause a reader to become upset?  Or… [insert your own solution/scenario here]… :)

Day 19/30 of NaBloPoMo… :x (not talking).

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  • Well Ari, I totally understand how you are feeling. Remember how I had moved my blog a while back because some ex friends and stupid co-worker found my blog and started reading it and trying to get me in trouble at work by it?

    At first I silenced myself by moving and keeping the new blog quiet and then I realized that it wasn't the way I normally handle situations. I'm loud, I'm outspoken, and yes, confrontational. I don't care if my co-workers read the blog and know that I think they are scraggly cunts who lie 98% of the time they open their mouthes, I don't care if someone I used to be friends with reads the blog and learns what I really think of them.

    Your blog is YOUR blog. It's YOUR outlet. I say don't silence yourself. If someone gets offended by your blog post or by talking about a situation then its too bad for them. You can always just avoid mentioning them by name directly and they don't have the right to complain!
  • Thanks, you're totally right!
  • E Reynolds
    I once got fired over a blog... Hahaha. One of the main reasons that I don't blog now.
  • Seriously? Wow that's not comforting a all. Gulp.
  • I've been caught out before, which is why my blogging is rarely particularly personal. The only way to be safe is not to write anything publicly you wouldn't want somebody to see, no matter how unlikely they come across it.
  • Yikes, sorry to hear that.
  • Yes! I have come across this before. And it is a tough call. I generally don't write about work, but have occasionally WANTED to write about instances with a co-worker, which I couldn't do because she reads my blog. It gets frustrating, and I do miss my anonymity a bit since I "came out of the blog closet" a little ways back, but I still don't link to it on my FB or anything because I don't want ALL my friends and family reading it. It's a tough situation.
  • Lol blog closet. Luckily none of my co-workers know about my blog, I only have one of them on facebook. I'll stay in the blog closet for a bit longer.
  • ari_b
    I have this problem a lot. My ex-husband reads my blog, so all through the divorce and separation I couldn't blog about what was really happening - it wasn't as nice as I made it sound. Even now, if I have a grievance with him, I can't blog about it - I'll get a nasty email or comment and that's not something I want to deal with. I also have this acquaintance that reads my blog and it irritates the fire out of me. He won't talk to me in person, but yet he reads my blog and talks to my best friend about it (he's her friend from college). It creeps me out and I don't know how to make him stop. I unfriended him on Facebook b/c I got so irritated.
  • Ugh that stinks that he still reads your blog. I'm very much of the opinion that if you're my ex, you don't get to be involved in my life - or read about it, for that matter. Glad you unfriended that person, that sounds annoying.
  • I agree. That's why it took me so long to blog about my breakup with DD. He and quite a few of our mutual friends read my blog and to put it blunty- I just didn't want my shit out there.

    After a few weeks, and the changing of both our FB statuses, I knew it would be okay to tell my story, but it hurt me to not be able to do it because I use my blog as sort of my own therapy. When I can't blog about something, it makes me a little crazy.

    I hope eveything works out for you, and if you ever need a virtual audience, feel free to e-mail me anytime! :)
  • Awww thanks!
  • I know exactly what you mean... I went through this before, and actually posted something anyway and caused a whole heap of trouble. *sigh*

    I sometimes wish there was some way to prevent certain people from reading so we could write more freely... you know?
  • Yeah, it would be nice to have a private setting on certain posts. Hmmm...
  • I know exactly what you mean... feeling confined by your own blog... it reminds me of one of my own posts: http://ricardowilliams.com/blog/?p=1

    But well as you said, this will also be cooled off by time.
  • Thanks, I hope you're right. :)
  • AND I totally forgot to answer the question. :) When I did have a blog people read, I'd still say what I had to say. I may be a little more vague about certain aspects if some of the people i know didn't know and shouldn't know. But I didn't Not say what I needed to say. I'm rather up front, so I'd have already told him/her what I thought anyway. so my thoughts wouldn't be a shock, more a way of getting it out so i wouldn't dwell on it.
  • Ha ha about forgetting to answer the question. Yeah that makes sense.
  • I like to write like someone is reading, so a blog is a good outlet for me. I am not anon, but I don't tell people I know about this blog. That way I Don't have to censure myself. The only person who knows is my husband, who I tell everything anyway.
  • I think I need to not tell people about the blog, so that I don't have to censure myself. It may be too late tho. But I haven't told everyone so it's not complete;y too late.
  • TeacherCarrie
    I had to start being careful with what I said about work drama when I posted my link in Facebook, which kind of sucked since mine centered around work and what a teacher does outside of work. I hope you figure it out soon so you can feel better about it.
  • Yeah that's exactly when I started having to be careful - stinkin facebook!
  • lrburt
    Oh yeah, I totally censor myself because of my audience. There's a lot of stuff I would blog about, except it would create drama and that's the very last thing I want to bring to my blog. I feel your pain!
  • Aw thanks!
  • I started feeling like my blog was writing my story instead of me writing it on my blog. Make sense? Long story short: I created a semi anonymous blog. I gave the link to a handful of bloggers whom I trust and there I can write things I normally wouldn't put on my blog.

    I try to make it a rule not to bad mouth people on my blog though. Whether they know or not.
  • Well yeah, don't get me wrong - I wasn't going to bad mouth someone. Just an annoying situation that they happen to be part of. Wait, is that the same thing?

    Good idea about the other blog btw.
  • Quave
    Yep, well, that's an on-going dilemma.
    I don't know if you can restrict who reads your blog, or if you can restrict specific posts. I don't know how this works.
    But still, I don't think that's the point.
    I guess, in here, like with everything, we need to be mindful of our 'audience'. This stuff here is an incredibly open medium, quite a vulnerable one. It doesn't replace real friends though.
    So I'd say that in the meantime, you're probably best relying on your friends for advice on your issue.
    Anyway, it's hard to explain.
  • Nah I hear ya. Stinkin audience.
  • writetoreach
    I mostly avoid all of these problems, by not telling anyone in my real life about my blog (except for two close friends). It's just what works for me, and I think I'd feel too limited if I knew other people were reading.
  • Yeah, I think my problem was that I posted a link to the blog on facebook when I put up pics of my classroom. Some people kept the link. Rawr.
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